Lately I've been thinking about the first 2 weeks after Gwen was born and how overwhelming they were. The biggest challenge for me was that I felt like she didn't know that I was her mommy. I know that sounds pretty crazy, especially since I'm breastfeeding and back then the girl was with me, eating [what felt like] 24/7. At that point though, my body was still healing, and as soon as I finished feeding her I would have to immediately pass her off to Justin or my parents (who stayed with us for the first 2 weeks - thank god because I'm not sure what we would have done without them) because I was just SO exhausted. So, although I spent so much time holding and feeding her, I was very rarely the one walking around comforting and soothing her if she was fussy. Justin was so awesome at calming her down, and she responded so well to him it was amazing to me (I shouldn't be writing this in the past tense because she is still in awe of him. I love watching the two of them together). My parents were also constantly holding, soothing, singing and talking to her. Sometimes I felt like the milk machine and that's all I was there for, that's all I could physically do.
Fast forward to today, and there's no doubt in my mind that she knows I'm her mommy. I get teary eyed just thinking about it. Whenever someone else is holding her and she catches a glimpse of me or hears my voice, I get this huge smile from her. Sometimes she just stares at me almost like she's looking for my reaction or approval. The other day I was sitting on the couch eating a string cheese and watching TV and I had her in her Bumbo seat playing with her toys. I looked over at her, and this is what I saw:
She was literally sitting there just watching me eat my string cheese and smiling!! It was hysterical, and not to mention the best feeling in the world.
Some milestones from the past month:
- The girl has definitely found her voice, she screeches so loudly and sometimes she'll mimic sounds that we make. She also "sings" along to songs in the car.
- She holds up her fists and studies them, following them with her eyes. She realizes now that she's the one who is making them move.
- She rolled over once.
- She holds her pacifier and has successfully put it in her mouth by herself! (I'm pretty sure she just got lucky that one time, but still)
- She just started waking only once per night, which makes for a very happy mommy! :)
Every day brings something new with her, and every day I love her more than I ever thought I could. <3
Update: 5.10.11
Gwen had her 4 month checkup today and her Dr had all positive things to say! We were concerned that she may have allergies, but the pedi told me that it was highly unlikely and she didn't see any evidence of allergies. We won't see the Dr again until her 6 month appt, so we got the go ahead to start solids soon - even though I think I'm going to wait until at least 5 months. We'll be setting up her highchair soon so she can get the feel for sitting at the table and watching us eat. Once she starts becoming interested in our food, we'll know that she's getting ready.
At birth, Gwen was 7lbs 3oz, 20in and today she is 13lbs 11oz (50th percentile), almost 25in (75th percentile). Grow, baby, grow!
Gwen had her 4 month checkup today and her Dr had all positive things to say! We were concerned that she may have allergies, but the pedi told me that it was highly unlikely and she didn't see any evidence of allergies. We won't see the Dr again until her 6 month appt, so we got the go ahead to start solids soon - even though I think I'm going to wait until at least 5 months. We'll be setting up her highchair soon so she can get the feel for sitting at the table and watching us eat. Once she starts becoming interested in our food, we'll know that she's getting ready.
At birth, Gwen was 7lbs 3oz, 20in and today she is 13lbs 11oz (50th percentile), almost 25in (75th percentile). Grow, baby, grow!
She loves cheese already! Must be a Kalenowicz!
ReplyDeleteOh Lauren, what a great post!! The photo of her grinning at you, watching you eating string cheese, is just PRECIOUS. You so accurately described how a baby knows her mama, watching and waiting for reactions, and saving the best smiles for you. :)
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to the uncertain feelings at first about if she knows you're her mommy. I kept on asking Monty, "are we bonding? are we bonding?" LOL like it was this external, visual thing that I should see happen. But it is all so overwhelming, physically, emotionally, mentally, that it's all understandable.
Beautiful photos of Gwen as always... her eyes are luminescent!
Thanks Carrie! It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who went through that. You read so much about bonding that it almost makes you a little paranoid, when really, it just naturally happens.
ReplyDeleteHey Carrie, I swear that i responded to your comment. Not sure why it's not showing up!
ReplyDeleteI was so glad to see that I'm not the only one who felt that way! I think that it's so drilled into your head when you're pregnant that the first few days and weeks are SO important for bonding with the baby that you can get so paranoid about trying to bond, when really, it just happens naturally!